Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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