i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
