I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
