he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize