You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize