my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
