PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize