More tranny stories later!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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