maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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