We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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