The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
