I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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