dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Randomize
