Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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