Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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