I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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