I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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