I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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