TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
