Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I am one with the molecules
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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