your thong is hanging out like whoa
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We need to get me chipped asap
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
