Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
