i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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