sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
