it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
