i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
