At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
