I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
