He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
