Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize