Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
