I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize