similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize