Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
