So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
