Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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