something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize