It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
