Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
