my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
