Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize