Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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