he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
