Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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