She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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