Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
