there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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