you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
