And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
