Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
