K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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