gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
