Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
