I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
do herpes really smell.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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