Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
