dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
