He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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