I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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