put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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