Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
