who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
