This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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